|
 There is a slight family resemblance but after spending the last several years with
them, you’re not convinced that your child is not from our planet.
Many parents at some point find themselves living with "alien" children.
You
may not understand their strange clothes, friends, language or problems.
But there is
hope. They do belong here on Earth but we must first acquaint ourselves with their foreign
ways
Young people want to be adults. It is estimated that 6.9 million American junior and
senior high school students can walk into a store and buy their own alcohol.
Talk about
independence!
It’s incredibly tough to convince your child that alcohol is not an option.
When
parents "bargain" with their youth, allowing them to drink as long as they
don’t drive, the youth are more likely to drive after drinking or be in a car with
someone drinking.
One third of students surveyed said that their parents often didn’t set clear
rules regarding alcohol and other drugs. Half said they aren’t disciplined routinely
when they break the rules.
It’s tough to sort though all the mixed messages that society promotes about
alcohol. Your child deserves a clear, uncompromising message from you.
 A few suggestions that may make your job a little easier
- Set a good example because they’re watching you.
Be moderate or abstain in your own
use of alcohol. "Do as I say not as I do" just doesn’t cut it with this
group.
- Teach your child that actions have consequences at any age.
Every choice matters. Talk
to them about alcohol and everything else! And talk early.
The ages 9-11 are a good time
to start. Get to know your child and the decisions they are facing.
Give them
encouragement and love as they grow.
- Set reasonable but firm rules that you plan to enforce.
Explain the facts about alcohol
as well as your family’s opinions. Make it clear that alcohol is not an option until
your child is 21. Discipline, curfews and structure are non-negotiable but they should be
understood.
- Teach your child about true friendship.
When peer pressure hits, they’ll be able to
stand up to their friends. Get to know their friends and their friends' parents.
Work
together to provide a consistent no-use message.
- Let them know you see what’s going on.
Tell them you know what happens among
teenagers, maybe even their friends and discuss why your child shouldn’t participate
in these activities. Point out the dangers and consequences of alcohol.
- Don’t be naïve. Watch for signs of abuse like dropping grades, switching friends,
missing money, and withdrawal to name a few. If you sense a problem, seek help. It could
save their life.
You can do it.
We know that your child can grow up to reside happily on this planet.
I t just takes
patience, love, understanding, determination and discipline.
It’s going to be crazy so buckle up for the ride of your life.
Young people do grow up. One day you may even understand their language and appreciate
their clothes.
Stranger things have happened.
This page is http://www.maddorangecounty.org/parents.htm
Page updated: August 13, 2005
| 
